rocky horror picture show meatloaf

did rocky horror define your life? yeah, it certainly changed things. to have rocky horror as a calling card is wonderful cause i can ring somebody, knock on somebody’s door, and use that as an introduction and get five minutes of their time, nothing wrong with that. some people seem to think that their successes become millstones around their necks, and i’ve never understood that. i think be very grateful for things that come your way, happy accidents that come your way. you never felt enormous pressure after rocky that you had to do something else bigger and grander. no, rocky’s great, as long as it’s done well,

and the bands cooking, and the jokes are falling at the right time, and people are in character, and it’s a theatre full of laughter, that makes me feel terribly good. do you prefer the play or the film? i prefer the play because i get royalties from the play. [ laughter ] nobody gets royalties from movies except for producers and the studios. they pat each other on the back, and they wear dark glasses so you can’t see the absence of moral light in their eyes, [ laughter ] and they enjoy each other, for ripping people off. it’s like you deserved to be raped because your skirts was too short,

is the kind of philosophy, you deserve to get pissed on cause you’re dumb, and you get treated and marginalized in such an arrogant kind of way, while they’re smiling at you, “hey we’re gonna really look after you, it’ll be great!” yeah. that movie made over 365 million dollars. it kept 20th century fox afloat for 3 years that movie. and it’s made a personal fortune for the producer that i was engaged with of about 20 odd million dollars. if i’ve seen even one million dollars in that 30 odd period of time i’d be very lucky. and they don’t care.

they just don’t care and they go, "yeah, and your point is what?" and it’s not fair, is it? you could become very embittered couldn’t you, if you were that kind of person. but i'm not. [ laughter ] because anyone who’s seen that movie would just presume that you’d walked off with a vanload of cash. you think you’d get a little bit back for writing a stage show and then co-writing the screenplay and then playing riff raff. you’d think you’d get paid well wouldn’t you. no you don’t. writers don’t get any money.

there’s an old joke in hollywood that the girl was so stupid that she screwed the writer. [ laughter ] and it's kind of unfortunately true. after the success, you had entree to all sorts of fascinating people. whose impressed you the most? i like people who make me laugh, actually, truthfully. i like people who are fun to be with and you can go drinking with them and tell dirty jokes to each other, and whatnot. i like those kinds of people. i’m exceptionally childish, infantile almost. and i like that. i’m not ambitious, and i’ve never wanted to be rich or famous.

and i said that to someone recently and he went “so what went wrong?” [ laughter ] but i can honestly say with my hand on my heart, i never wanted to be rich or famous. i just wanted to be an actor, and make believe, and pretend to be somebody else and do it as well as i could so that everybody was watching believed that i was this person. that’s what i wanted to do. that was my craft and that was what i wanted to do. what gives you the most pleasure? after defecation? [ laughter ]

we took defecation as a given. waking up in the morning, that's good. that always works. you go "hello, another day" getting the daily telegraph and attacking the cryptic crossword. that gives me a great deal of pleasure. i go around the corner sometimes at my place, and i get one of those greasy spoon breakfasts, egg and chips and the baked beans and the bacon and a big cup of tea, and have the paper and the crossword and i am kind of in heaven then, that’s pretty damn good. greasy breakfasts. you’ve always been skinny? i’ve actually put on a stone in weight in about the last four years. [laughter]

i used to be 8 stone 9 my entire life right up to the age of about 58. i was 8 stone 9, never varied. i had a 25-inch waist. we had a pair of trousers, i used to do a show in great britain called the crystal maze, and i used to wear these black skin tight sprayed on trousers and a pair turned up at my house the other day day and i held them up and the waist was there. and i go, "how?" i don’t understand, i was uncannily thin.

i was [laughs] a bean pole. some of us only dream of ever having owned trousers that wide in our past you see it comes around doesn’t it, cause when i was 18 and my peer group grew up and they filled out and they all became men and i was still kinda like 7 and a half stone, and not short about 5’ 7” at the age of 14 and only 8 and a half stone, i used to get people being so rude to me. old people would be rude to me too. they make jokes, the big joke like “can you sing? thought so, you got legs like a lark.” and you go “oh yeah, that’s funny.” you know, a young awkward adolescent with pimples...

god's really cruel isn’t he. just when you come into sexual fruition he makes you the ugliest person on the planet. [laughter] you got spots, your voice is going up and down, you’ve got bad breath, and god decided to suck my chest in at the same time, bring your ribs in that will screw you up, you’ll like that won’t you, that will give you confidence in the play ground. when i turned 40, you see, and i’m still kind of mr. slim, snake hips and all my peer group are starting to pack it on a little,

and they go, “how do you do it?” and i say “my turn fatty!” [laughter} [applause] what about surgery, plastic surgery. you never thought about that? plastic surgery, wonderful stuff. god it’s improved a lot of people hasn’t it. some people were just plain ugly and now they look fantastic. look at ozzy osbornes wife, she looks fantastic. ten years ago you wouldn’t have said tubs to her and now you go “hello!” yes, great stuff. i think if you can afford it and you like it, get it done, why not.

you’ve never been tempted. yeah, i’d do it, sure, what the hell. it’s like, you’ve got a nice car, if there was a dent in the bumper you’d get it done wouldn't you, you'd get it fixed. it's the same kind of thing. if you’re going for glamour restoration is the main kind of thing... [ laughs ] main job during the day. no i have no problem with it. i find it’s a bit like inverted snobbery saying, "you take me like i am. i’m not going to change for anybody” so you’re always going to be a miserable bastard are you?

what the hell. we only live the one life, enjoy it. if it doesn’t work for you then... i don’t think botox is necessarily a good idea for actors, do you? you know... [ laughter ] expression.. [ laughter ] i'm really happy to see you. [ laughter ] i'm overjoyed [ laughter ] it don’t work, does it? the face is supposed to be the canvas, isn’t it?

but i’m going to get it done next week. [ laughter ] but you became famous not looking in the traditional mold, if i could put it that way. with the snake hips, the bald head, you weren’t the traditional actor/writer look were you. no i suppose i wasn’t, really no. i could never play a bank manager, could i. [ laughter ] not really. they’ve never asked me on the bill and every other actor in great britain’s been on the bill. [ laughter ] i would have been in the plain-clothes division wouldn’t i? [ laughter ] well what are you about now? we talked about the past… well, next year we hope to have a musical on stage in england called the stripper….

i’d sing a song from it but i don’t really know many of them on the guitar… i could sing it with out any tune, could i song one without any music? acapella? okay.

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